Remember when you were little and the kids on the block would argue who was greater, Batman or Superman? The ragamuffins on Dewey Street were evenly divided, pretty much the way they were between the Yankees and the Dodgers. Frankly, it was a no-brainer to me. The Yanks had The Mick, and, while Batman had all sorts of gadgetry, Superman had super powers. I know, I know, there's that Achilles heel thing, the accursed Kryptonite.

Still, Superman was my man. Besides, he and Batman would never fight. They were both good. So I didn't lose any sleep over it, and instead focused my contemplations on why in heaven someone would be a Dodger fan. I mean, they were "The Bums," perennial underdogs until they beat my team in the '55 World Series. Now, just when I'm pretty much over it, director Zack Snyder decides Batman and Superman should fight.

Why? I was happy the way it was. Don't we have enough trouble? Simply, I'm agin' it.

Somewhere in the recesses of those ruminations that figure what we moviegoers want to see, it was decided to produce a more comic book-accurate rendition of our two favorite superheroes' exploits. While this doubtlessly pleases strict constructionists who revel in the trivia, lore and forever-analyzed mystique of their pulp idols, of course it also sets the stage for innumerable sequels, revisions and permutations. I'd like to think the Superman franchise has lost its way. But truth is, it's in keeping with the initial impetus. I'll explain.

Threatening dictatorships were popping up all over the world in 1938 when writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Shuster's Superman debuted in Action Comics, a heroic icon meant to hearten youngsters rendered insecure and confused by the coming storm. Superman ultimately fought the fascistic Axis powers right alongside the GIs. Fast forward to "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" and only the fears we need ameliorated by our caped deus ex machina have changed.

The world, still weighed down by totalitarian governments and human rights violations galore, is too much with Batman and Superman. Add to the usual threats a globe full of slithering terrorists, plus our own homegrown profiteers looking to make hay from our worries, and it's no wonder the two are at each other's throats. There's hardly a social or political issue that isn't imbedded in the convoluted filigree that comprises the film's intricate plot. But don't look for comedy relief here. That's for presidential campaigns.  

With hardly any sunshine in either Metropolis or Gotham, it could be the lack of vitamin D that's caused such moodiness and rendered this screenplay so emotionally dark. If I've ever felt the need to cheer up a movie, this is it. One hopes potential viewers won't be attending for the purpose of commiseration: You know, misery loves company. I got the feeling that even if things suddenly got a whole lot better, Superman and Batman were too far gone to shake their depression.  

Now, I'm not suggesting an emulation of the hokey, tongue-in-cheek Batman that held sway over the tube in the 1960s or the simplistic, albeit iconic Superman George Reeves portrayed on TV. Nope, I was perfectly satisfied with the handsome, good-natured Man of Steel Christopher Reeve brought to the silver screen in 1978. I don't expect deep, philosophical thought or classical melancholia worthy of Spinoza or Schopenhauer from my Superman. He just has to have great powers, and the flying has to look real.

But alas, this isn't my Superman. Packaged in all the neo-nihilism and cacophonous special effects director Snyder could conjure, he is fashioned to please comic book geeks, folks with short attention spans and anyone else looking for two hours and thirty-one minutes of contemporary anxiety. Superman and Batman, played by Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck, respectively, are reflective of their time, their antipathic impasse a suitable metaphor for the selfish gridlock perpetrated by our Congress.

Nonetheless, when casually previewing my opinion for gym buddies, a few were quick to contend that this film, a major capitalistic venture at a cost of $231 million, was really raking it in, and that had to stand for something. All of which reminded me of Tevye's thoughts on the persuasive aura of wealth. The protagonist of "Fiddler on the Roof" yearningly sang, "When you're rich, they think you really know." It's inevitably crept into our politics. Poor but honest Abe wouldn't stand a chance today.

Evidenced by "Superman v Batman: Dawn of Justice," such deluded, golden calf worship, while seductive to those who think there could be a panacea to age-old conundrums, is hardly the stuff of good art, or presidential candidates, for that matter.  

"Superman v Batman: Dawn of Justice," rated PG-13, is a Warner Bros. release directed by Zack Snyder and stars Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck and Amy Adams. Running time: 151 minutes

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