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'Terminator Genisys': Well, He Said He'd Be Back
By Michael S. Goldberger, iBerkshires Film Critic
07:55PM / Friday, July 10, 2015
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Popcorn Column
by Michael S. Goldberger  

Paramount Pictures 
A new Sarah Connor is back to kick some machine ass and blow stuff up — which really is the whole series in a nutshell. YMMV according to the number of Schwarzeneggers involved.

Of late I've been looking askance at my automatic coffee maker, and not just because I wanted to use the word askance. I dare say, I've also become more than just a little suspicious of my toaster. Granted, these are things — and I underline the word things — that were manufactured for my convenience.

However, doubtlessly prompted by movies like Alan Taylor's "Terminator Genisys," the fifth in the series, I've become wary of their nature ... more specifically, of their motives. Nine out of the last 10 sci-fi films have been about the war between man and machine.

out of 4

How do I know those two seemingly innocuous appliances, and please pardon the term appliance if you're one of my cyborg readers, aren't plotting against me? Sure, they're mere babies now. But they might be biding their time, waiting for just the right moment to strengthen their atomic/electronic functions, vanquish their human creators and take over the world. Gee, our ubiquitous fast food joints could wind up as charging stations for our conquerors.

If I were a pompous English professor at some great college I probably couldn't get into as an undergrad, I might opine to a gathering of sophomores that this overwhelming man vs. machine paranoia is essentially a metallurgical variation on some rather ancient mythology. It's the fear of our creation, a second guessing of what we've wrought, epitomized early on in the Oedipus story. What you make will grow up to kill you. Surely this theory, if promulgated throughout the kingdom, might discourage inventors. Still, students who agree it's a great thesis would get an A.

But so much for the tortured gibberish of this review's preamble and on to the gobbledygook of director Taylor's contemporary proof of my theory. First things first, though … what you want to know most. Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger utters, much to our glee and titillation, the iconic phrase that has even superseded General MacArthur's "I shall return," inevitably used to assure drinking pals at the gastropub that our visit to the facilities will be quick. Yep, "I'll be back," especially if uttered with a deep, Austrian accent, never fails to get an acknowledging laugh.

All of which is probably why our species is doomed. Geez, and all because we didn't want to open soup cans manually. You see, machines don't go for inside jokes, niceties and frivolities. They're all too busy evolving to a greater purpose, the exact goal of which my feeble human intelligence couldn't begin to grok. All that is, except for Schwarzenegger's particular robot, credited here as the Guardian. Yeah, he's a good guy, er, uh, machine, although this tale's mortal hero, Kyle Reese, played by Jai Courtney, isn't so sure. Psst ... neither are we.

Note, our original mistrust has little to do with the fact that the former bodybuilding champion-cum-actor went over to the other side and became, thanks to Californians's penchant for novelty, the governor of that state. I mean, he's a T-800 ... a mechanical killer, a Terminator, which, with a few notable exceptions, is worse than a governor. Granted, he's been reprogrammed to be the female lead's guardian angel, and thus, might foreseeably help civilization much more than he could as an elected official. I like to think this irony isn't lost on Arnold.

Compounding the inherent complications of the ongoing conflict between humanity and its electromechanical spawn, the plot, swarming with notions, theories and balderdash about time travel, is your everyday enigma wrapped in a riddle. OK, I know sci-fi aficionado John Thomascewski says time travel is right there in front of us, waiting to be discovered; it's just that our brains can't understand it ... yet. Huh? My head still hurts from trying to program the VCR.

So unless you're the sort who enjoys pondering the imponderable, or firmly believe your presence in the movie house is meant to at long last solve the space-time continuum, I suggest you let all the techno garble wash over you. This might allow you to simply enjoy the sheer farfetchedness of Schwarzenegger and company's jaunt up and down the decades. There's plenty of the usual action, lots of things blowing up, ceaseless gunfire and enough seemingly endless battles to last us into that unresolved future.

However, if unfamiliar with the franchise, you might want to read the libretto, about how John Connor, ostensible savior of humankind, sends his disciple (and maybe more), Kyle Reese, to the past to save his mother, Sarah Connor, so that she may give birth to John so he can save the world. Now properly confused, you will be qualified to pontificate ad nauseam over cheese fries in any après-theater discussion: simple things like, can we go back and change our fate? If this seems appealing, then it's obvious "Terminator Genisys" awaits in your moviegoing destiny.

"Terminator Genisys," rated PG-13, is a Paramount Pictures release directed by Alan Taylor and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke and Emilia Clarke. Running time: 126 minutes

 

 

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